PIRANHA 3DD – Did we really need this sequel?

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First off, let me say that I am a big fan of not only the original PIRANHA movie from 1978 but also the 2010 remake. The 2010 version has a lot going for it including a likeable cast, over the top gore effects and some pretty cool 3D. Unfortunately the sequel offers none of this.

Let me start by saying that I sat through this abomination twice for this review, once in 2D and once in 3D. The fact that this movie was released to very select theaters and is already available on OnDemand shows how little hope the producers have for this film.

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This movie starts out similar to the 2010 film, with a name actor quickly getting killed by the monster piranha. While in 2010 we had Richard Dreyfuss in this role, the sequel features Gary Busey. The opening sequence is unimaginative and I found myself shaking my head asking myself “What in the world were they thinking?” None of the teenage characters are likeable at all and I found myself not caring if the underdog guy finally got together with his long-time crush. There is plenty of nudity in this film as well but again this was a disappointment. We are not talking Kelly Brook type nudity here. Even the return of Ving Rhames and Christopher Lloyd added nothing. As in the 2010 version there was also another guy losing his penis to a piranha, in this case one hiding in his girlfriend’s vagina. How loose are these women that they do not know they have a piranha living down there?

The gore in this entry are very simple and unimaginative, unlike the 2010 film which had some of the greatest gore scenes ever filmed. The quality of effects range from ok to SyFy original movie quality (and I am going to predict the entry #3 will be a SyFy original film). In one scene, a young women is taking a bath and the entire scene looks exactly like a similar scene in the far superior film SLITHER. This film did have one redeeming quality though…David Hasselhoff!

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That’s right…I said David Hasselhoff! He plays himself in this film making a public appearance at the water park where the story takes place. He even comments that he has really struck rock bottom with this gig. I have a new-found respect for Hasselhoff as he was not afraid to make fun of himself at all during this film and I must say, he was very funny. If you do see this film, and don’t leave before the end, watch the end credits as it is loaded with bloopers and additional David Hasselhoff footage that must be seen to be believed.

So, unless you have absolutely nothing else better to do, I would give this movie a shot. Otherwise, watch something more worthy of your time and money.

~David Albaugh

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