PIRANHA 3D: Dont be afraid to go back in the theater!

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I remember, months back, seeing the trailer for this movie and rolling my eyes in disgust. To me it represented the marriage between two highly annoying Hollywood trends; 1) remaking older movies and 2) presenting them in 3D whether the added effects were warranted or not.  After picking up the latest issue of Rue Morgue, however, I changed my mind. They did a retrospective piece on the original PIRANHA as well as an article featuring the new one. Needless to say, I was hooked (no pun intended).

I decided that if I was going to see this film at all, I should do it under the best possible circumstances. I drove up north a bit to watch it on a digital “Ultra” screen. The theater boasted a screen that was 3o feet tall and 70 feet wide along with sound loud enough to rival any rock concert.

img102A bit pricey (especially for a matinee) but definitely worth it!

While I waited for the film to start, some jack-ass behind me was having a loud conversation with his girlfriend. He was trying to impress her with his knowledge of horror by explaining that there are no decent horror conventions in the Midwest, only in Canada. This was in between him explaining to her that she didn’t understand the difference between regular and fine cuisine and how lucky she was to have him around to discuss these things. I wanted to turn around and say, “Yeah Jerk, and nothing says Class more than taking your girlfriend to see PIRANHA 3D,” but resisted the urge. I bring this up because the minute the previews started, he became so offended by the elevated sound levels, he left early in disgust. This, in itself, made my choice of spending the extra cash worthwhile!

The movie was a total riot. It was not really a remake, having little to do with the original. Instead of naughty government engineers creating aggressive killing machines, these were prehistoric piranhas released from an underground fissure after an earthquake. The 3D was a definite bonus as this movie had tons of “in your face” gore, gratuitous nudity, and non stop action. Definitely for ADULTS ONLY, I was shocked to see a couple bring along their grade school age children, proving some parents don’t give a hoot what there kids watch.  I, on the other hand, thought it was great fun imagining all those MTV Spring Break people getting slaughtered by killer fish. gore-piranhaNot for those with a weak stomach

The cast boasts such notable names as Jerry O’Connell, Elisabeth Shue, Christopher LLoyd, along with cameos by Richard Dreyfuss and Eli Roth. None of the actors, with the exception of Shue, take their performances seriously and overact with gusto. By playing it straight, Shue single-handedly raises this movie  above Scy-Fy Channel status, kicking it up a notch. The over the top performances, in this case, don’t  hurt either because the material was never meant to be taken too seriously.

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All in all, the film was 88 minutes of hilarious entertainment and will, no doubt, be worthy of multiple viewings in the future. The 3D was not only an effective visual ploy but could just as easily have stood for 3Drink minimum. Indeed the only added effect I can think of to enhance this movie is an “open bar.” Don’t let the cheesy title and subject matter fool you, this movie is a roller-coaster ride worth taking!
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Dave Fuentes~

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Dave A. here. Since I also loved this movie I thought I would chime in. When I originally saw the trailer for this film I immediately got excited. I have always been a huge fan of the 1978 Roger Corman film and welcomed this “remake”, even though I am not a fan of remakes or films that use CGI effects (I am old school…I want to see monsters made out of latex). I did have a fear that the CGI would cheapen the film but it really did work in this film.

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This film has the makings of a great monster film…the three B’s so to speak. Boobs, blood and beasts…and there is plenty of all three! There is a good reason this movie is rated R…there is plenty of nudity to titillate any red-blooded American male. According to articles, 80,000 gallons of fake blood were used so there is plenty of blood, enough to please any gore hound. The kills in this movie are not only original, but they are really well done. Lastly the beasts…the piranha are a force to be reckoned with and their design is really great. It makes sense that they were done with CGI and in many scenes, you cannot even tell.

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Overall this is just a fun movie, plain and simple. If you go in thinking it is going to be a serious film then you will be disappointed. In my opinion this movie has classic monster movie written all over, much like the original. Not only does it have plenty of boobs, blood and beasts but it has a great sense of humor with amazing gore effects and fantastic 3-D. I am getting burned out on the whole 3-D thing…every movie is coming out in 3-D now and ticket prices are just ridiculous. It is nice to see a movie where the 3-D actually adds to the fun of the film! Go in with an open mind and an open sense of humor and you will not be disappointed!

UPDATE: You can order Piranha 3D HERE!

David Albaugh~


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