MACHETE – the other Dave’s review!


I just got back from the theater after seeing Robert Rodriguez’s MACHETE. I have been a longtime fan of both Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino and loved their GRINDHOUSE double feature (PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF). I loved the whole concept of this movie…the double feature, the scratches on the film and the fake trailers. A lot of people complained about GRINDHOUSE (even though they were getting two full-length movies for the price of one)…the thing is these people just didn’t get it. All of these things were done as a tribute to the old days when you could go to run down theaters and see movies that would be shipped from one theater to another, resulting in the scratches and missing scenes.  Back then these trailers were oftentimes as fun as the movies themselves (as was the case with GRINDHOUSE). One of the trailers, MACHETE, was actually made into a movie and it did not disappoint.


When I found out this was being made into an actual movie I got really excited and was loving the hype. My one worry though was that it wouldn’t live up to the hype…believe me when I say it did. Robert Rodriguez delivers the goods and in a big way. One thing that he has not forgotten is that movies should be fun and playful at times and this movie is full of fun and playfullness…as well as plenty of nudity and blood! Danny Trejo stars as Machete, a former Federale who has been set up and wrongly accused of an assasination attempt on a senator (Robert DeNiro). The rest of the movie deals with Machete’s fight for survival as well as bringing the bad guys to justice. This movie has just the right blend of action, comedy and blood to make this a winner. Add to that all of the cameos! WOW.


macheteThe beautiful Michelle Rodriguez stars as “She.”

Michelle Rodriguez plays She, the mastermind behind the underground in charge of helping the immigrants get jobs and housing. Just when you don’t think she can get any sexier she does. Whether she is selling tacos or killing people, she looks good doing it! Not to be sold short, Jessica Alba also has a great part as an agent working for immigration who sides with Machete and She (and can kick some ass herself). One of my favorite cameos in many of Robert Rodriguez’s films are his nieces, Electra and Elise Avellan (aka the Crazy Babysitter Twins from PLANET TERROR). These two beautiful women play nurses in this film who for some reason, know how to shoot guns (and once again, look good doing it)!


Other noted cameos include Cheech Marin (from Cheech and Chong) who plays Machete’s brother, Tom Savini (one of the greatest special makeup effects artists of all time) plays an assasin hired to kill Machete, Don Johnson (in the opening credits he is listed as “Introducing Don Johnson”) plays a Texas hick who decides to take the whole Mexicans-sneaking-into-the-US issue into his own hands, Jeff Fahey (who also appeared in PLANET TERROR and was in the original MACHETE trailer) plays the assistant to Robert DeNiro’s senator character who initially “hires” Machete to kill the senator and Lindsey Lohan plays Jeff Fahey’s character’s daughter in a role that seems to mirror her actual life and lastly Steven Seagal, who plays the drug lord who has a personal vendetta against Machete.


Please, if you are going to see this movie, go into it not expecting anything serious. If you want a serious movie then go see THE AMERICAN. If you want a fun, mindless movie then go see MACHETE – you will not be disappointed and we all need to have some mindless fun once in awhile.

David Albaugh~


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